73 replies to this topic

[Tom Henrik]

As most of you have realized by now, taikara and myself are a couple, and we have been for more than 6 months already.

Now...
Earlier today I was told that the way we show our affection (by complimenting eachother and using the "kiss" and "love" smileys) is destroying this forum...

Appearantly we are offending people, spamming up the place, splitting the forum apart and making people leave. (This is said to be the case on the Abandonia Forum as well).

This is, of course, something we both take seriously. We hope that the above scenario isn't the case, but if anyone has anything he/she wants to say about our behaviour please tell us.

The bottom line is:
Are we destroying this forum, because we openly love eachother?
Are we annoying you all with our occational affection?
Are we being offensive?
Is people fleeing this forum?


Please tell us if we have done anything wrong, and we'll do whatever is best for this forum.

Thanks.

[Kon-Tiki]

It has been quite alot of borderline spam, to be honest, especially in the art threads. Other threads, like the dinner-thing in specific, aren't exactly a good example of what threads should be, too. If Havell'd make a thread 'bout what his girlfriend had for dinner, that'd be odd. If Rainwife'd make a thread 'bout what Seb had for dinner, it'd be odd.

In general, it's ok, but if you guys don't post anything else but those lub-lub posts, it's spammy. People here have no business 'bout such things. If you'd walk into two people making out in the living room, you wouldn't sit next to them and start talking 'bout the weather, now would you? You'd avoid that place til you're sure they've stopped.

The bottom line is that Tai and your relationship's not a crime, and an occasional showing of affection's alright, quite like what Seb and Rainwife do, but if it's nothing but that, like what it's been the past month, it's too much and gets spammy and sets people at unease.

[Havell]

Well said Tiki, I don't have a problem with it and I'm very happy for you two.  Anyway, most of the alledged spam has been in posts that would have been made anyway, with the kisses and things added.

[Himmler]

now you must warn each other by 20% like i have been

[Havell]

Admins don't have warn meters

[Kon-Tiki]

They do. Anyways, back on topic, please.

[Tom Henrik]

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It has been quite alot of borderline spam, to be honest, especially in the art threads.

You mean where we praise eachother's work? If this is the case, then let me ask you this:
If you had spent a lot of time making something, really placed your soul into the work. Your partner sees it, and doesn't comment on it or just say "oh... nice..." How would you feel?

One of the most basic rules in a relationship is to show well-deserved praise and love. And this is what we try to do.

We don't suddenly go "Hey, babe. I love you." in a topic where this would be completely out of sense. The only time we do this is when we are commenting on something the other has done. Like art.

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Other threads, like the dinner-thing in specific, isn't exactly a good example of what threads should be, too.

Well, it was something we both found amusing, and we wanted to share it with everyone. There are dozens of topics like that in 3xBlah. That's what the forum is THERE for. It's meant to be a forum for people to talk about whatever comes to their mind.

But instead of simply posting the cake and ended the topic with that, we actually started a "guess the photo" game. A game we hope will be fun for everyone in a long time to come.

By reading that topic over again, all I can see is people laughing due to my messed up cake. It doesn't seem to me as if that topic has offended or scared anyone away.

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In general, it's ok, but if you guys don't post anything else but those lub-lub posts, it's spammy.

As I said, we only post those "lub-lub posts" whenever we are actually complimenting something the other has done. And usually we say something like "that's wonderful, hon!" just like I would say "that's a brilliant replacement drawing, prejudice!"

The mushy mushy smileys are usually only used whenever one of us does something special for the other one. Like drawing a picture of eachother, or dedicating something to the other.

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If you'd walk into two people making out in the living room, you wouldn't sit next to them and start talking 'bout the weather, now would you?

I can relate to this, and yes I agree that it would make me feel uncomfortable and awkward. However this is a forum, and as we mostly show affection in eachothers Art Forums, it should be easy to avoid our making out.

R Havell, on Aug 22 2005, 10:42 PM, said:

Anyway, most of the alledged spam has been in posts that would have been made anyway, with the kisses and things added.

Thank you for spotting that, Richard. We are not out to spam anyone. We are here to have a good time, and to see a forum grow.

And that is why I've made this topic. To see if we need to change our ways, or if people don't find us troublesome.

[Himmler]

@Tom: in this case i think the term "spam" should be removed, and people should be accused in the most "urgent" cases like that guevara guy..idk his name.if you want the forum to grow you gotta remove that word for some that made just several posts.I'm talking about my case, as you probably know...i said something that was not related to the topic and there we go "you spammer!" and raised my warn level was..
the thing is>it's not spam, but it is a little off-topic the "i wub you babe" and whatever else making it look like spam..i don't find your posts to be much of a spam cause spam is more like a post that sounds like "yes" or "".carry on with the admining(invented word?) and with the posts but try to be more subjective if you see u're getting accused of spamming, kon-tiki was right about that thing with a guy that walks in a room where there's a couple..you can use the PM if they find it too bothering..as far as i'm concerned..post whatever you like, i can't seem to find some admins post hunters because they already have their status, as for a post hunter that wants to have many many posts so under his name will be something like "inhuman"(example)

i don't know if someone sees what i mean cause i can't say it well in english and i tend to repeat things.

[Kon-Tiki]

Ok, these're definite spam:






Just like all the posts in the this thread, of which admins should've known better.

These're a few examples of the borderline spam:








That last one's got a general "What the hell' she talking 'bout?" in the last line.

As for the occasional affection... I didn't feel like screenshotting every single time you guys went: "I made this for Tai/Tom", "I did that for Tai/Tom" and all the and   smilies you guys used. My comp's already complaining 'bout a lack of HD, and that definitely wouldn't improve it.

You might say that the borderline spam ones aren't spam, but as Himmler's experienced, there've been people punished for that or less spammy posts.

[Himmler]

indeed kon-tiki, so i say this :warn me and then warn each other or don't warn me and post your wubs.it is as simple as that, we must remember we are all users here and we have the same rights but not the same attributes

i must say i prefer the first one.

[OvErLoRd]

It personally doesn't bother me. I agree with Tiki's first post completely, so I won't be repeating his thoughts all over again.

Anyway, since I didn't really get that you were a couple (silly me), congrats to you! And sorry for being curious (and off-topic), but where exactly did you meet each other (since you live in distant places)?

[taikara]

Umm.. most of those are taken way out of context.

As for the Tom-word thread... uhh... someone started the topic, I replied in kind, I don't see the issue, and I'm not an admin on AB anyway.

As for the last one, actually read the quote. I'm replying to it.

If I make something for Tom, I'm proud of making it for him, that's why I say I made it for him. If Tom made something for me, what am I supposed to do, ignore it?

Anyway, I am sorry if I've caused anyone true distress by my behavior. I've had my reasons for being more open about it lately, and I don't mean to make people uncomfortable, I just thought it might be better to be more open to clear up any confusion about the situation.

@OvErLoRd: We met on the forums. We started as good friends, and it just kind of grew from there. We're not actually sure when we were officially a couple, actually, it just sort of happened

[OvErLoRd]

taikara, on Aug 23 2005, 12:15 AM, said:

@OvErLoRd: We met on the forums. We started as good friends, and it just kind of grew from there. We're not actually sure when we were officially a couple, actually, it just sort of happened

Ah, that's the case! Well, it's nice to see that you're able to sustain relationship over the net, I wish you all the best!

[Tom Henrik]

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Ok, these're definite spam:

Sure, when you don't show the post above it:
http://www.reloaded....findpost&p=6965

I posted the above as a "thank you for your nice comment" and I added the "I love you" as a pun on her sentence "I love the pirate guy"

The comment was made in a post that would've been made no matter what. So I added a little affection to it as well. Just saying "Thanks" seemed to be a very coldhearted thing to do.

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Again...
The picture is out of context.

Read this first:
http://www.reloaded....findpost&p=6637

I feel like a brand new woman, whee

(can you tell I'm happy?)

Notice that her signature text is "...thinking of you..."
Those lines are directly addressed to me.

Now...
I just can't see that and NOT say anything, now can I? But those lines blew me away, and I didn't know what to say that would be worthy a reply. Thus I let a smiley do the talking for me and quoted the most touching thing in her post.

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Just like all the posts in the this thread, of which admins should've known better.

May I remind you that that topic was created by neither me nor taikara? Also, it was posted in the 3xBlah forum (where you are allowed a little spam every now and then), and at the same time let me point out that you posted in the topic yourself.

And believe it or not, but that topic was actually a very good mind-game, as you had to use your brain in order to come up with new words.

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Again... you are posting out of context.

http://www.abandonia...ndpost&p=144132

She replied to a pixel I made, where's the harm in that?

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[/img]

Read this first, please.
http://www.abandonia...ndpost&p=135989

Now... care to guess who that girl on the drawing is?

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I really don't see any harm with that one. As you can see the main focus in the post is me thanking everyone for their nice comments on all the new pixels I made for the Help Us page on Abandonia. I made that line in bold letters so that everyone would know I truly appreciated their comments.

The last line, was a play on words; bottom of my heart VS all of my heart. And I am sorry if I can't put my girlfriend aside from a group of people and thank her seperately.

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That last one's got a general "What the hell' she talking 'bout?" in the last line.

I believe the hell she is talking about is this:
(the one in the middle of the back row... what's the name again).
That would be Murdock.

does someone have a photo of Tom where he's older than 6 and photographed from the front ?
And I have a piccy of Tom from the front and over 6 years old


EDIT:


Seems like we both replied about the same thing, hon!

(Is this spam, by the way? I hope I am not offending anyone with my edit... )

[Himmler]

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Umm.. most of those are taken way out of context.

what do you mean?you are being accused about spamming