205 replies to this topic

[Juni Ori]

Darwin Awards!

[Candy55]

Hahahaha.. I've read the jokes here and I'm really having fun.   Here are my jokes:


1.The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

2.Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

3.Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

4.It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

5.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6.Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

7.He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

8.A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

[Nick]

Funny stuff Candy.

And welcome to Reloaded.

[Frodo]

Got a book about glue for my christmas.  

I just can't put it down.     #

[Nick]

Took me hours to figure that out

[Nick]

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

[Frodo]

*digs up the old thread*  :P


B & Q have been caught up in the food scare.
Their wooden floors have been found to have laminate. (lamb in it)  

[Nick]

*bugs chirping*

[Nick]

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

.. "How do you breath through something so small?"


What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

.. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

[Frodo]

*groans*  

[Nick]

*looks at Frodo* *checks her age*

*whistles innocently*

You already have five kids, with number six on the way. Virtual kids. With no money worries, or crappy diapers to change.

[Frodo]

*I* have 5 kids, with number 6 on the way?

*grabs Nick by the collar*  

Listen buster... you had a big part to play, for those virtual kids being here.  So *WE* have 5 kids, with number 6 on the way.    

[Nick]

I was just there for the actual "bringing them into being" event. That's where I work my magic.

The actual raising the kids part, that's when I'm often too busy saving the world, or stopping some crazy villain.

And once number six pops out of the oven, I'm ready to go back in and try for number seven.

[Frodo]

There will be no Number 7, until you change Number 6's nappy, and help Number 3 with her homework.  

[Frodo]

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

Quote

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you!

The husband, typically non-romantic, replied ,

Quote

I am on the commode. Please advise!