67 replies to this topic

[taikara]

This is a humor topic in which you can share what you've learned from playing games. Tongue-in-cheek responses perfectly welcome

From Xenosaga, I've learned that people in the future are freaking crazy. It's also a Very Bad Idea to debate religion with them.

From Final Fantasy: It's easy to tell if someone is evil. Just look for silver hair.

From .hack//: MMORPGs really ARE bad for your health - but they're very useful for seeing what you'd look like with spiffy full-body tribal tattoos without having to submit yourself to the pain of the needle.

[A. J. Raffles]

Lessons I've learnt? It pays to be a carrion-eater. (ADOM, obviously).

[Juni Ori]

That few hand grenades, thrown randomly under, top or next to BMP-2 destroys the vehicle. Also I've learned that digging in must be something that officers train us just in the name of torture; noticed that even over a meter of solid rock don't protect you in any way. - Operation Flashpoint

On the other hand, even thinnest wooden structure can protect you from every tested weapon or explosive. People can change their direction of movement in smallest possible amount to any other direction. Also Hollywood movies exaggerate the seriousness of wounds caused by projictles; unless you hit head no one dies from first shot. - 99% of first-person shooters

[BeefontheBone]

That I'm surprisingly good at running around with an oversized weapon killing monsters - who'dve thought it?

That nothing actually has to be picked up - merely standing on top of objects will magically and instantly transfer them to your TARDIS-like Backpack of Surprising Lightness or Pockets of Near-Infinite Depth.

That any wound which is not quite enough to kill you can be instantaneously healed by the application of a couple of Red Cross bandages and some Savlon.

[Juni Ori]

BeefontheBone, on Oct 14 2006, 11:46 AM, said:

That any wound which is not quite enough to kill you can be instantaneously healed by the application of a couple of Red Cross bandages and some Savlon.

I was soooooo close to post something similar! Also the weight issue is interesting!

[PrejudiceSucks]

From Operation Flashpoint - if you start sprinting, the walls of houses prove no obstacle to your movement - must be that First Earth Battalion training, I suppose.

From Counter-Strike - the only people who can kill anyone with any kind of skills are those who suck, i.e. "are n00bs", and writing "damn wireless" will utterly free you from guilt about being rubbish.

I have numerous quotes which back this up.

[Tom Henrik]

From Kingdom Hearts II:
Anyone can be a master skateboarder. All you need is to step onto a skateboard, and you will instantly perform amazing tricks in the air, or slide of rails.

From Maximo II:
If you are in a tight spot against powerful enemies, nothing beats a pair of boxers with flames on to get you out of the mess.

[DeathDude]

From Mario Series: Saving someone generally takes a long time, and somehow they have managed to amass a huge army to stop you, still ya would think with costs Bowser must be rich then.

From Deus Ex: Generally running around the corner and out of sight of an enemy you'll be able to lose them and cause them to wonder where you went.

Also from FF: Also look for a person with badly dressed clothes that is completely different from the norm and or has an evil laugh (FF 6) to see if they are evil.

[BeefontheBone]

On the subject of Mario, it's not worth bothering to save anyone named after fruit, as she'll only get in trouble again 10 minutes later.

[Tom Henrik]

Like Fiona Apple, for instance.

[DeathDude]

I don't remember which game yeah the name change happened from Princess Toadstool, to Princess Peach, think it was 64, but anyways least they finally made a game with her on the DS where she takes the lead role to save mario and luigi. Back to the topic.

Wing Commander: Somehow cat like creatures and later alien creatures are able to learn the english language quite fast.

Monkey Island one: A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle does have a use after all.

[PrejudiceSucks]

From Hitman - it doesn't matter how much larger or balder you are than anyone you bump off, their colleagues will be fooled if you are wearing the same outfit.

[A. J. Raffles]

DeathDude, on Oct 14 2006, 04:55 PM, said:

From Mario Series: Saving someone generally takes a long time, and somehow they have managed to amass a huge army to stop you, still ya would think with costs Bowser must be rich then.

Well, why do you think he keeps abducting princesses all the time? Obviously he wants to marry them for their money, so he'll be able to cover the costs of the armies he raised to destroy some Italian plumber.

Day of the Tentacle: George Washington once chopped down a kumquat tree by mistake.

Edit: Oh, she's called Princess Peach now? Maybe they realised after about twenty years that naming a character in a children's game after a toxic mushroom wasn't such abright idea after all. Or maybe they thought that way they'd be sending subliminal messages to the children to eat more fruit and vegetables...

[DeathDude]

Oddly enough in regards to the princess, her name was changed in North America to Princess Toadstool, in Japan she's always been called Princess Peach, or just Peach in some cases, it wasn't until like said earlier, Mario 64 that they finally decided to make the change here.

From Legend of Zelda series: All you need is a fairy, captured in a bottle preferably, to heal all your wounds.

[Potatoe]

Combine like having garbage thrown at them(Half Life 2 Demo)
Police don't care how fast you drive, just how many civilians you run over in the process(Just Cause)
When aiming with a gun, it is more accurate to aim it from the hip(Most FPS games)
Evil lairs always contain green acid, what's an evil lair without green acid? You never know, maybe the hero might miss the 5 meter wide bridge he is standing on and fall in.(Old skool FPS)