1973 replies to this topic

[Nick]

You start crawling. You notice a hearse a few feet away. A driver is sitting inside it.

[Doubler]

Ask for a lift to the nearest police station.

[Nick]

Driver: Oh my god! Get in! You sure you don't need to go to the hospital?

[Doubler]

Tell him you definitely want to go to the police station first.
Edit: and thank him while you're at it

[Nick]

Driver: All right, lets go then. And no problem.

*You get into the passenger side of the car, and the driver starts the car.*

Driver: The nearest station is only a mile away... And don't mind the coffin in the back.

*The car starts driving down the road.*

Driver: So... how did you get in the graveyard anyway?

[Doubler]

Practical joke, maybe?

[Nick]

Driver: Ah. I understand.

*The car pulls up to the police station.*

Driver: Should I carry you in? *chuckle*

[Doubler]

Smile, and politely decline. Then crawl into the station.

[Nick]

You crawl out of the car, and up to the police station's door. An officer holds the door open for you. You crawl up near a desk.

Officer: How can I help you?

[Doubler]

Tell him you want to get a restraining order against Death.

[Nick]

Officer: You know, I hate people like you. Damn prankster. Get the hell out of this station, or you will be locked up. Make your choice.

[Doubler]

Ask the officer how often people come in there with their legs freshly removed.

[Nick]

*The officer reveals that he is sitting in a wheel chair.*

Officer: I don't have any legs either. Get over it.

[Doubler]

Ask where you can get a wheelchair

[Nick]

Officer: Go find one yourself. Now, get the hell away from me.