165 replies to this topic

[Nick]

[Nick]

[Nick]

Not a good sign...



Microsoft Morro: The free antivirus, that hurts.

[Nick]

[Nick]

The ultimate portable computer (For people who can't afford laptops):

[Frodo]

, I want one just like that.

[Nick]

[Frodo]

Your Vista headstone is just... PERFECT.  

[Nick]

Made that myself using this cool generator:

Tombstone Generator

[Nick]

Another funny Omegle transcript. Warning, this is unedited. Consider yourself warned.  

Quote

You: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiii
Stranger: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You: why must I be quite??
Stranger: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Stranger: I GONNA KILL MY SELF
You: Me too!
Stranger: YAYYYY
You: Let go together!
Stranger: THAT'S GREAT
You: 5...
You: 4...
You: 3...
You: 2..
Stranger: !
You: 1...
Stranger: 1
You: Dead.
You: im alive!
Stranger: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: bullet missed!
Stranger: POWWWW!
Stranger: YEAH SAME
You: the bullet hit my girlfriend instead.
Stranger: I SHOT RIHANNA INSTEAD
Stranger:
You: shes a bitch anyway
Stranger:
Stranger: HAHA
You: destory the evidence
You: burn your shirt
Stranger: OK
You: and make sure to burn her body
You: use bleach to clean the floor
Stranger: I ONLY HAVE AMONIA
You: that will do
You: use windex.
Stranger: ALRIGHT
Stranger: WINDEX IS TOO EXPENSIVE
You: use your urine.
Stranger: I CAN'T AFFORD WATER
You: take a piss on the floor.
Stranger: SHE ONLY HAS A CREDIT CARD
Stranger: THAT'LL GIVE ME AWAY IF I USE IT
You: I think the cops are at your door.
You: better run
Stranger:
Stranger: BYEEE!! GOTTA GO

[Nick]

[Nick]

Another Omegle chat. Warning: For 18+ ONLY!

Quote

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: oh my god... we killed her..
Stranger: whats the matter?
You: quick. before the cops show up. get me some bleach.
Stranger: bleach wont do the trick. u need products with a less distinct smell
You: Fine. Get something then.
You: And we also need some black garbage bags
Stranger: try mixing vinegar with baking soda, that will work for the stains on the rug
You: good. go find some in the pantry
You: *Looks at body*
Stranger: stop being so bossy. it's not my fault
You: What a bitch you were. *kicks body*
You: You also need to burn your shirt.
You: *takes off shirt, and throws into fire.*
Stranger: look, i just came round to sell you a raffle ticket
Stranger: kindly retreive my shirt
Stranger: it's new
You: Shut up. You are a witness. Which makes you a liability to me. Your shirt has blood all over it. Her blood.
Stranger: are u going to buy a ticket of not?
You: *pulls out handgun*
You: Shut the fuck up.
Stranger: seems to me, you should really buy a few
Stranger: they arent that expensive, mister
You: *grabs your throat*
Stranger: it's to help the deaf kids in the local primary school
You: I don't give a shit.
Stranger: little timmy has no ears
You: Fuck little timmy. I rape little timmy for a living.
Stranger: look, i'm just going to take the money from your wallet
You: Fine. Take it. *chuckle*
Stranger: you should probably focus on disposing of that body
You: *wraps body in bags* Will you help me carry it out to the car?
Stranger: theres nothing in your wallet, except a stick of bubble gum and a librrary card
Stranger: give me your watch
You: *hands watch* Now will you help me?
Stranger: ..and the ring
Stranger: and is that gold tooth, hand it over
You: *hands ring*
You: *pulls out tooth*
You: *spits into your hand*
You: Happy now?
Stranger: thanks, im a little hungry also. could u make me a sandwich
Stranger: do u have any ham? i do like ham
You: *takes out cock* Eat that if your hungry.
Stranger: not much meat on that!!
Stranger: is that a party weenie?
You: Fine. Eat yours then.
Stranger: it looks very sorry
You: *loads handgun*
Stranger: are u going to make a snacks or not?
You: *Points at your dick*
Stranger: i find u very rude
You: *Fires handgun*
You: *Bullet hits your penis*
Stranger: stop that!
You: *You drop on the floor in pain*
Stranger: have u no manners?
You: Die motherfucker.
Stranger: look, i really should be going
Stranger: i feel a little woosy
Stranger: and i cant feel my left leg
You: Shut up.
You: Your not going anywhere.
Stranger: is this my surprise birthday party?
Stranger: where are the other guests?
You: I killed them.
Stranger: and why aren't u wearing pants?
You: I'm horny.
You: I like to let it hangout.
Stranger: it doesnt really hang
You: Hey, where is your girlfriend?
Stranger: it doesn't even touch ur balls
Stranger: she went to pizza hut
You: Good. Let's wait for her. I want to see her.. *sneer*
Stranger: she didnt get you any pizza
Stranger: its our pizza
Stranger: for when im done selling raffle tickets
You: I don't care. I want to eat her pizza. If you know what I mean.
Stranger: why? do u really like hawaiian
Stranger: personally i dont think pineapple belongs on a pizza
You: I do yes. Tasty sex is always fun.
Stranger: thats nice aside. i like to study globes in my spare time
Stranger: and one day i'd like to visit kenya
Stranger: do u have any ice cubes?
You: *Points gun at your head.*
Stranger: ice cube?
You: Why don't I just kill you?
Stranger: i'll need to put my penis on ice
Stranger: that way they can reattach it at the hospital
You: *fires shot*
You: *Bullet hits your ear*
Stranger: can you stop that, please? you could have someones eye out
You: *takes out knife*
Stranger: now get me some ice and two plastic bags
You: Good idea. *throws knife into your eye*
Stranger: now, we dont have time to waste
You: Suck my dick.
Stranger: good job im wearing shades today
Stranger: i could barely floss with that little pecker
Stranger: hang on, thats my girlfriend on the phone. can u hold on
Stranger: YES? HOW MUCH?
Stranger: JUST PUT IT ON YOUR CARD?
Stranger: I DONT KNOW, JESUS
Stranger: OK OK, CALM DOWN
You: *ahem*
Stranger: I'M AT SOME GUYS HOUSE
Stranger: WAIT....
Stranger: shhhhh, im on the phone
Stranger: I KNOW RIGHT? SO RUDE
Stranger: MAYBE GET SOME CHICKEN WINGS
You: *shoots cell phone*
Stranger: THE SPICY ONES
Stranger: HELLO?
Stranger: HELLO?
Stranger: shit
Stranger: can i use ur phone?
Stranger: fine, i'll just take it then
Stranger: HELLO. YEAH, SOME CUNT SHOT MY PHONE
Stranger: I DONT KNOW, A MAGNUM OR SOMETHING
Stranger: DUNNO
Stranger: YEAH
Stranger: PEPSI
You: *shoot phone*
Stranger: AND GARLIC BREAD....
Stranger: that was ur phone dckhead
Stranger: hang on, i'll use the one in the kitchen
Stranger: YEAH WE GOT CUT OFF
Stranger: DID U HEAR I WANTED GARLIC BREAD
Stranger: THE CRISPY KIND
Stranger: UH-HUH
You: *grabs phone* Come over here. I want to fuck you.
Stranger: LOVE U TOO
Stranger: NO, SORRY HONEY. THAT WAS THE GUY
Stranger: I KNOW
Stranger: MAYBE WHEN I GET HOME
Stranger: DID U SET THE VIDEO FOR GOSSIP GIRL?
Stranger: YOU DIDN'T!
You: jesus christ.
Stranger: SHIT, BITCH
You: I don't have time for this.
Stranger: I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU
Stranger: HANG ON
Stranger: u really are impatient
You: *The door breaks down, as cops swarm in*
You: Police: Freeze!
Stranger: GOTTA GO HONEY, THE GUEST ARRIVED XXX
You: Oh shit.
You: We gotta get out of here!
Stranger: are u here for my surprise birthday party?
You: *pulls your arm*
Stranger: no?
You: come with me!
You: *jumps out back window*
Stranger: excuse officer...
Stranger: officer
You: *runs away from house*
Stranger: that man shot off my penis
You: Come on!
Stranger: he also shot two cell phones, shot off my ear and stabbed my eye with a knife
Stranger: you should probably chase him
You: *the officers slap handcuffs on you*
Stranger: i'm going to go and eat pizza
Stranger: wait, wait, wait
You: Officer: No your not.
Stranger: i'm not involved
You: Officer: We heard you talking about murdering someone on the phone.
Stranger: my pizzas getting cold
Stranger: thats was just a little joke
You: Officer: Come with us into the police car.
You: *pulls you along*
You: *meanwhile, I can continue to run away.*
Stranger: urm, what about the guy in the hockey mask
Stranger: the one with the gun?
You: *Suddenly, the officer's head is blown off.*
Stranger: he seems to be getting away and has a very small penis
You: Officer: SNIPER FIRE!
Stranger: whoops
You: Officer: GET DOWN!
Stranger: who did u say that without a head?
You: Other Officer.
Stranger: oh, ok
You: Officer: Son of a bitch!
Stranger: how many are there in this car? i have terrible sight
You: 2
You: 10 outside the car
Stranger: how many have heads?
You: only 5
You: *bang*
Stranger: can u put the radio on?
You: only 4
Stranger: i'd like to listen to the jonas brothers
Stranger: they're great
You: Radio: This is breaking news. A man killed someone today. We don't know why. Fuck off losers.
You: *continues to run in forest*
You: Shit... I wonder how the raffle guy is doing...
You: *sniper rifle hits another officer*

[Nick]

[Nick]

[Frodo]

YAY!  Christmas is cancelled!  


Brilliant piccy, Nick.  Just perfect.