0
Jokes Reloaded!
Started by Havell, May 07 2005 10:59 PM
205 replies to this topic
#46
Posted 08 May 2005 - 02:14 PM
?
Anyways.
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
Anyways.
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
#47
Posted 08 May 2005 - 02:23 PM
Nice one!
#48
Posted 08 May 2005 - 02:24 PM
Hey, if it's coming from me, it's always a nice one
#49
Posted 09 May 2005 - 12:40 PM
What did the two tampons say to each other?
Nothing they were both stuck up cunts.
Nothing they were both stuck up cunts.
#50
Posted 09 May 2005 - 12:55 PM
Ouch that one was dirty
#51
Posted 09 May 2005 - 12:57 PM
I know it's great isn't it.
#52
Posted 09 May 2005 - 09:09 PM
An old one:
Two friends are talking to eachother.
One of them says "you don't look so great"
the other one says "what do you mean?"
Friend #1 replies: "well it looks like there is something wrong with your blood"
Friend #2 says: "nonsense! there is nothing wrong with my blood"
to which the first friend replies: "sure there is!"
Friend #2 gets annoyed and says "you want to bet?"
They both bet on it for $100 and the second friend goes to the doctor while the other one stays outside and waits... and waits... and waits...
After 7 hours Friend #2 comes out smiling and says: "haha! I win! It's stomach-cancer!"
Two friends are talking to eachother.
One of them says "you don't look so great"
the other one says "what do you mean?"
Friend #1 replies: "well it looks like there is something wrong with your blood"
Friend #2 says: "nonsense! there is nothing wrong with my blood"
to which the first friend replies: "sure there is!"
Friend #2 gets annoyed and says "you want to bet?"
They both bet on it for $100 and the second friend goes to the doctor while the other one stays outside and waits... and waits... and waits...
After 7 hours Friend #2 comes out smiling and says: "haha! I win! It's stomach-cancer!"
#53
Posted 09 May 2005 - 09:14 PM
that's..... sick...
#54
Posted 09 May 2005 - 09:17 PM
Good one! I like black humour!
DakaSha:if you go into a kindergarden and give all the kids rubber schlongs they will prob just hit each other over the head with them
DakaSha:and you have a class of little kids hitting eachother with rubber dongs which must be quite funny (also Picklweasel knight I am)
#55
Posted 09 May 2005 - 09:22 PM
#56
Posted 11 May 2005 - 05:11 PM
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
Atli Axfjörð Friðgeirsson (my name)
Me! (avatar)
Please correct me if I'm wrong!
Me! (avatar)
Please correct me if I'm wrong!
#57
Posted 11 May 2005 - 05:54 PM
HAHAHAH
#58
Posted 11 May 2005 - 09:25 PM
Stroggy, on May 9 2005, 11:09 PM, said:
An old one:
Two friends are talking to eachother.
One of them says "you don't look so great"
the other one says "what do you mean?"
Friend #1 replies: "well it looks like there is something wrong with your blood"
Friend #2 says: "nonsense! there is nothing wrong with my blood"
to which the first friend replies: "sure there is!"
Friend #2 gets annoyed and says "you want to bet?"
They both bet on it for $100 and the second friend goes to the doctor while the other one stays outside and waits... and waits... and waits...
After 7 hours Friend #2 comes out smiling and says: "haha! I win! It's stomach-cancer!"
Two friends are talking to eachother.
One of them says "you don't look so great"
the other one says "what do you mean?"
Friend #1 replies: "well it looks like there is something wrong with your blood"
Friend #2 says: "nonsense! there is nothing wrong with my blood"
to which the first friend replies: "sure there is!"
Friend #2 gets annoyed and says "you want to bet?"
They both bet on it for $100 and the second friend goes to the doctor while the other one stays outside and waits... and waits... and waits...
After 7 hours Friend #2 comes out smiling and says: "haha! I win! It's stomach-cancer!"
#59
Posted 21 May 2005 - 12:45 PM
What does a jew say to a busdriver?
MORE GAS!
thank you, thank you
MORE GAS!
thank you, thank you
California dreaming as the Earth dies screaming
#60
Posted 21 June 2006 - 05:42 PM
Rise rise little theread
be alive and not dead!
(that is a necromantic spell, BTW)
be alive and not dead!
(that is a necromantic spell, BTW)
Those of you being liberal-art majors � don�t worry, advanced mathematics were largely omitted from this text in concern for your mental health.
secret adept of the PICKALLONWEASEL order
QUOTE (Mighty Midget)
if BP has potied on Twilight Zone episode, I will strangle him
secret adept of the PICKALLONWEASEL order